


10/10

by qwuinofswag



Category: Gintama
Genre: Author Commentary, Comedy, Comfort Reading, Gen, Headcanon, Manga Spoilers, Post-Canon, Self-Indulgent, The Author Regrets Nothing, Yorozuya Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:27:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26934337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qwuinofswag/pseuds/qwuinofswag
Summary: He doesn't bother with birthdays, but somehow Shinpachi and Kagura found out (thanks to Otose who herself was helped out by Tama's database of all the Joui warriors) so all four of them AND Catherine 🐱 prepare a surprise party. They obviously need a birthday cake (strawberry and whipped cream because that's him - ironically), a place, invitees, gifts and the like.
Kudos: 9





	10/10

**Author's Note:**

> This is such a self-indulgent thing. Call it fanfiction, call it head-canon, but it exists within my heart. It all started in the spur of the moment when my friend who’s deeply invested in Gintama as well asked me a few hours before midnight how would Gintoki spend his birthday and that just got me writing. This is what came out after proof reading it. Mind you all that I am not native in English, nor did I write this for anyone else to read, but it was my friend’s suggestion to like… make it public. So I thought, why not? Maybe someone will enjoy it like my friend did (it got her to tears, but I made myself cry too) or maybe they won’t enjoy it, I don’t really mind, just be respectful. It wasn’t written for you, but for the roots of my soul, the part of me that will forever cherish Gintama and all that it holds.
> 
> If it has errors, please let me know on twitter @ndcalfa I am also open to any discussions whatsoever.
> 
> Thank you Sorachi. Thank you Gintama.
> 
> (I know there are some grammar errors left but I am in a state of lunacy, excitement and pain about Gintama so spare me a little, I shall come back to it later)

He doesn't bother with birthdays, but somehow Shinpachi and Kagura found out (thanks to Otose who herself was helped out by Tama's database of all the Joui warriors) so all four of them AND Catherine 🐱 prepare a surprise party. They obviously need a birthday cake (strawberry and whipped cream because that's him - ironically), a place, invitees, gifts and the like.

Gintoki is actually surprised, but not by their gesture because he knows Yorozuya would do that for him, he's just surprised that he is celebrated because it's not something he feels to be worth honouring. That’s not because he has an inferiority complex, but it’s all too troublesome to worry about. Tsk, a birthday party?? What the hell, just have a sake drink, and leave it at that! Yet, he's actually welcomed after a night of tipsiness (nicely said) from Dom Perignons and Pachinkos (because he's a moron and there's nothing to celebrate especially at this time of the year).  
Anyway, why rumbling about the future? This bunch of paragraphs will be a mess either way! 

The surprise consists of those other morons (Pachi, Gura-san, Otose-san, Catherine) preparing a big birthday party and inviting all the ensemble: the 4 of Shinsengumi, the Girls, even Soyo-chan – since Kagura let her know, Tsukuyo & Hinowa, Sacchan (how can she miss her HUSBAND’s birthday – she celebrates him everyday anyway, even poor Hasegawa who was taking a nap near his box in the usual Edo Park, but Kagura woke him up from this fantasia of a dream he was having where he was back with Hatsu). They each will have a present, some of them really stress about it (i.e Pachi, Kagura, Kondo, Sacchan - the kinkier the better, even Elizabeth - but he'll buy it with Zura becau – Zura ja nai! Katsura da!!!).

Gintoki is still on his way home from his bloody drunken night, but things are still not ready so it's up to Otae and Kyuubei to save the situation! And what’s best than going shopping and dragging a tired Gintoki "mendokusai!" along. They look through various Edo garments, and through even more modern and all'avanguardia ones from some far far away Amanto colonizations. They try out stuff, they put Gintoki through some hellish kimonos, pants and shirts, he's still so tired, he doesn't get why he is being dragged along "Nande ore da!! Ahh mendokusai, DONDAKE kimasu ka!!? netai !!"

Suddenly none other than Hattori Zenzo himself comes across the trio and secretly signals Otae & Kyuubei that all preparations are over, then he excuses himself with his usual hémorroïdes streak. He actually stealthily gets his present - a Wok pan - and goes to the Party barn - yes, the party is held at good old man Gengai-san's place because there's space, and there's baby Tama too.  
Gintoki doesn't understand why he's now dragged otherelse, why again "nande dayo, ahh sugoku tsukaretayo" and sighs. He notices this way brings to Gengai's place, but doesn't really care about it anymore, he'll just let the duo childhood friends bring him wherever (he doesn't question why he allows them this privilege to begin with, it's just within the bits of his soul that he actually doesn't mind it at all, even if in an utterly wasted state and with an oncoming headache).

As he approaches, he notices the silence, his birthday being just the shadow of an afterthought, but no sooner were the gates opened that there was a burning vivacious ensemble of screams, cheers, (biodegradable) confetti, vuvuzelas, it was all so much that he instinctively touched his Lake Toya (maybe from the years of lonely days of a youth scavenging dead bodies imprinted in the most unconscious part of his brain, yet we don't go there). He was then bewildered by everyone's joyous faces. Actually, everyone!!?? Here... What and why the hell - then he saw the banner with a colorful "Otanjyobi omodetou Ginchan". Everyone stole a 👁️👄👁️ look from him, and it was Kagura to notice a tear falling down his left cheek (why the left one, I don't know, couldn't it have been none of them?!!! Really, tear glands?) but he immediately shook his head with an "omaERAA" (tear vanished, maybe it was just imagination after all). It was little Tama who made him regain focus on the matters at hand by grabbing his clouds kimono and handing him a little black box with silver ribbon threading it. Opening the box he saw a meticulously decorated pin with the characters Yorozuya engraved on it - he would later find out that once pressed, the pin would sing the song "You have a friend in me" but "friend" had been replaced with "Yorozuya" in Gengai's annoying voice. 

It was Kagura's excited nagging that made him take the next present. Kagura’s present was actually so well thought. It was white Iris (Kouka’s favorite) preserved in oval resin, he gently took it and could not come up with any gag since sometimes there's really nothing to joke abound such a precious gift that is coming from something rooted deep within one's soul. It's Pachi’s' turn now. He struggled so much to find something that is actually fitting for his elder brother figure, this mendokusai lazy poor amazing man who's a pain in the ass but whom he cares so much for, thus he went for an ancient Katana used by a certain clan that apparently lived by the Bushido code of a certain Silver spirit in a far away land of Nihon, protector of those local samurais (apparently it’s totally unrelated to him, Gintoki had never heard of such a clan). Shinpachi had paid with the pocket money his sister had been giving him because we know that he's working for free under a certain hairy nosed loser. In this exact moment of opening Shinpachi’s present and hearing here and there what he was saying, we see Gintoki having an indescribably darkened face, what he may be thinking we don't know.

Next, there's a mass of boxes, wrapped in colourful rice paper, big and small and he's already had enough for the day, can't they even let him breathe for a moment?!? He’s still having an oncoming headache!! What the hell (but little does he notice that he's still dearingly holding those three presents in his hands). We have presents from all the others, even the Shinsengumi members: Kondo, Sougo, TOSHI, Yamazaki each give him something. Yes, even plain Yamazaki gave Gintoki a voucher of unlimited apans for a year - it was from that overbearing era of anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan that he so wants to forget and NEVER live through again. Through this antic, Yamazaki also gained this voucher from the anpan's store owner - yes thanks to him there was an increase in anpan demand, so price got higher and he got a good profit since Yamazaki bought like crazy, but why the heck are we still on about Yamazaki? He's a goddamn plain character, why would someone like him take a whole paragraph when Shinpachi and Kagura barely took a phrase each?? "this plain looking idiot got many more words than us, what the hell, and that's all he gave Gintoki?!"

We have the presents from the other Shinsengumi:

TOSHI gives him a cake making set in Mayora shape with several mayonnaise flavours (spicy mayo, chocolate mayo, strawberry milkshake mayo – well thought for Gintoki, low-fat mayo, vanilla mayo), mayo syrup, mayo flavoured flour AND actual mayonnaise to decorate the entire cake why not - Hijikata is having a not so mild ecstatic scenario of his own ideal party and he's almost fainting in bliss, much to Gintoki's utter disgust.

Kondo gifts him a book on how to not be a Madao (Gintoki is actually annoyed, he's NOT the Madao in this story, he's the MAIN CHARACTER, so he should already receive a billion yen just for that, god this salary is a joke!) but he then sees that inside there's a gift card for a one day trip to the beach for three - all inclusive - and he's mesmerised: "is this a trick, is this really free?? Another beach episode?? Are we REALLY that kind of anime/story???" - he will never know that Kondo actually received it from Matsudaira and he was excited to go so of course he stalked Otae about it only to end with many nosebleeds (and not from what he'd want to have them, no.) Since he was quite worried what would fit the Yorozuya leader, he went with this trick.

Sougo... Just gave him a birthday card from S2S and a leash 👁️👄👁️ “To Danna, make good use of the leash, it’s free real estate. From an S to S ;)”

The authentic Madao, Hasegawa Taizo, gifted him a lottery ticket with a note "Try out your luck, maybe you will actually get the numbers, because the only things that I seem to win are the ones where I fail to live *chuckles* 👁️👄👁️

He opens the biggest box next – fuchsia with a yellow ribbon. He's really curious what the HECK there may be inside. He already dreads upon seeing Sacchan’s name on it though...and as expected. She gives him an SM role play set with all the accessories imagined and not “Are those bunny and wolf masks?”. He almost throws it out of the window while screaming but Shinpachi stops him because "Gin-san, it’s a Present!! You shouldn’t do that!!" (yes, he's opening all these presents in the intimate space of his home because the party was obviously a disaster where he just stared at everyone starting to drink lots and... Have a food fight... FOOD FIGHT?!!? IN GINTAMA, NOW WE EVEN HAVE FOOD FIGHT, what the – the readers will just sigh in regret for ever starting tho read this headcanon/fantasy, but whatever. Also we missed the paragraph where he just comes back home. Writing that was too much of a pain.) 

Otae gives him a really warm muffler for those winter days where he seems to wear just too thin a garment, maybe because Gintomi doesn't bother much with more since it's too troublesome, as long as he can wear a warm hakama he is good. Kyuubei wasn't sure at all what to give him, but alongside Otae, she was able to choose some... Strawberry patterned boxers, just because 👁️👄👁️ a man needs his boxers (the measure is way bigger than Kyuubei’s, but she's glad she could share her taste with Gintoki’s, makes her feel more like a man!) 

Otose and Catherine don’t give him anything, he's already not paying rent, now he's expecting gifts too?? And wrapped nicely?? What is he, a child, what a dame na otoko. (but they did leave a Dom Perignon and 3 steaks with a note: “I want my rent tomorrow!” in front of his door because yes) – Gintoki smiles softly at that and urges a silent “urusai baba”.

Zura and Elizabeth give him the... “Memoirs of a Joui rebel on a run. Saving Edo from perishing. Esteemed Prime Minister” written and autographed by Katsura Kotarou, edited by Elizabeth, Coedited by Zura (ja nai!! katsURA DA!!). On a note Katsura wrote that he's gladly gifting such a precious manuscript, but he's expecting money for the autograph, those are NEVER for free, in such an economy, you can't expect that from anyone, my dear long timed war companion! (Gintoki almost throws that out of the window as well, but 👓 comes to rescue!). 

Even Sakamoto sent him a package and a note: "Dear Kintoki, I’m deeply sorry I could not come celebrate your birth anniversary, but I hope you will enjoy our present, yours Sakamoto and Mutsu - why did you add my name on it?? Oh c'mon, Mutsu-chan, Kintoki will feel really appreciated and glad he has renown space travelers like us for friends" - it feels like fire is coming out of Gintoki's eye sockets. In the box there's a bottle and inside what seems to be… a map. Rolling it out, the map shows their galaxy and a red x on a region. This seems to indicate Sakamoto’s current location. Gintoki obviously doesn't plan to travel, he has no use of it, and Sakamoto knew that. This bastard. Gintoki does not have any energy or MOOD to actually get his ass on a space ship, get to where that yarou is right now and punch his stupid face. Gintoki annoyingly mutters: "who does he think he is, does he take me for some sort of hunter and he’s that baka Ging Freecss who always runs away from his own kid?? And learn to spell my name right for once. How many years has it been? The readers are tired of it already!" 

Tsukuyo brings both her gift and Hinowa’s (which is a bento box full of homemade candies – baked by Hinowa and her kid). Tsukuyo though, gives Gintoki a one day Yoshiwara special service voucher with the Moon herself. Imagine whatever you want, but when Gintoki used it, all they did was drink – Gin only a little because Tsukki became mad drunk and started beating him up until he fainted. When he woke up as if from a coma, he found on him a silver painted kunai: the one she hit him in his head during their first meting. She actually kept it and then brought it to a jewelry shop in order to have it polished in silver to cover Gintoki's blood stains.

Nobume sent in a box of 12 chinpo shaped doughnuts. “Nande dayooo?!” Gintoki sighed.

Soyo-chan found some time from her busy schedule to send a lovely basket of goodies and a letter thanking Gingoki for his efforts even though he is a useless adult and is blessed to have Kagura around.

Asaemon too sends him a black box, as if shaped for a ring proposal, but no, it has a… silver nipple. Was that his own?? He doesn’t even know anymore. Are his nipples the real ones or were they replaced during the Shinigami arc? Is anything Gin-chan’s anymore?? What about his balls, and his chinpo?

He is interrupted by none other than Sadaharu who nudges him, opens his mouth and leaves a dead smelly fish on his lap. Gintoki looks at it with disgust, but still pets Sadaharu thanking him for this… gift!

The letter from Ketsuno Crystel makes him squeal like a teenaged girl after receiving a high five with her favorite kpop idol. (the letterbox also comes with a protective charm)  
Umibozu and Kamui participate too! While Kamui just sends him a note “thanks for taking care of my stupid sis” – Kagura almost goes where he is for a fight to the death - his dad is way more thoughtful. Umibozu sends him a golden Dragon Ball with a letter where he writes “Although jealous my Kagura would rather stay with a useless moron, than with her own papi 😒 I am thankful that you have been taking care of my beautiful precious daughter. I am sending you this ball because you’re still lacking, so grow the other one on your own.” 

The priestess sisters make an apparition too (at this point can you not expect all of them to appear??) and gift something that rather than him, it fits Sadaharu: custom Saint Seiya battle armour decorated with emeralds. But it’s for SADAHARU!!! 

Tetsuko Murata sends him a well crafted by her own hands sword holder with a small placement for candies. That’s just her.

Pirako and Jirocho send him a box of bananas. Why? Why bananas?? What the hell are they on about? Even they were forced into this mess!? I'm not the gorilla!! Since we are on this subject, the gorilla himself did not give him anything, quite expected for such a lazy mangaka. While we’re at all these apparitions, the male transvestites of Kabuki-cho also send him a gift: a pink coloured Kimono with beautiful ananas (they got his favourite fruit wrong!!!) pattern obi and a note: “We are waiting for you Pako *kisses*”

Author's note: You might wonder what happened to the cake! Well, while the food fighting mess unfolded, Gintoki just… ran with it and ate it by himself in the darkened alley of the Kabuki streets. One might think of the nasty, but he was just enjoying Strawberry cake.

You thought he was over with his gifts? Not really, but he’s too tired to read other birthday cards, too many already or he will vomit, he just takes one last one which is a birthday card from... Matako. He is bewildered to find out about what Shoyo-sensei did for Takasugi through the Altana energy. He's lost for words, and quiet, yet he’s certainly lost in his thoughts. He's really... Happy. Takasugi deserved a second chance and a better start. While sitting on his rotating chair at his usual desk, now at dusk, soon to be nightfall, he grasps a beautiful sight of the full moon. Tenderly resting the hand holding Matako's card on his lap, he slowly moves his head towards the window showing the very bright sight of the moon. He can almost hear a laughter, a smile, one he knows very well yet doesn’t venture on it too much because even if he's deeply missing it, there's nothing to do about it, nothing to change, nothing to bring back. He's always accepted the things that long happened to him, he's happy now with the souls surrounding him and he needs nothing more. Yet, at times like these, times of plentiful happiness and ease, some flashes of older memories, good and bad, come back to his mind. This time what takes most presence is the smile of one Shoyo Yoshida from childhood flashes blurred by the passing of time. Shoyo's teachings and kind gazes are something that he will never forget. As he inclines his head more towards the moon’s direction, he can almost see Shoyo wishing him too A merry birthday from the moonlight, or it’s just his ecstatic dumb brain pulling pranks on him. As he deeply sighs in relief and ease, Gintoki closes his eyes after a (still) tiring and mendokusai day, and with a soft jazzy tune playing out in his head he dozes off. 

P.S. Take this as you want but there is a faint memory Gintoki reminisces about in a dream. There’s Shoyo-sensei nagging at him a bit too much in order to find out his birth date. He did not give up until he found out, it’s Shoyo ~~Utsuro~~ after all. He was uncharacteristically upset that it was weeks past Gintoki’s birthday so he decided to bring him in a one day journey in the mountains. Gintoki almost passed out from all the walking, he was whining so much almost insulting this quest but stopped when Shoyo-sensei punched his head. They arrived in a forest, tall trees around them (not as tall as the big ass trees from that kyojin anime), birds chirping around like in a shoujo series, sunny for this time of the year, quite a nice day. Shoyo Yoshida taught Gintoki that day the art of silence, how to relax his muscles before entering a combat, if utterly necessary, how to look at the sky, how to simply take a deep breath and accept the reality of your surroundings. He even brought a bento, courtesy of the much caring Katsura, what a treat! As Gintoki was stuffing his face in onigiris, Shoyo-sensei was enjoying the sight with a warm and kind look. That day he seemed happier than usual, and maybe he really was the happiest he had ever been in his long ~~oh so long~~ life, but we don’t really know any of this. Then he proceeded to remind him about his own Bushido code and that he had created it in a time of solitude when feeling utterly lost, that had saved him. It had saved him because it was his own code infused with his own moral compass, thus bearing the mark of his soul. Gintoki had felt like that was one of the most special days ever, now just second to this one today where everyone celebrated his birthday. That night sleep took Gintoki in with a soft smile adorning his face...

...Gin'iro no sekai mimamotte  
Gin'iro no tamashii mune ni himete  
Gin'iro no kami nabikasete  
Gin'iro no tamashii kokoro ni himete.

(Banjiya Blues- Eiichi Kamagata)


End file.
